Learning how to manage our thoughts can make us become mentally strong people. Check the 7 traits of a mentally strong person below so you can be like one.
I think that our mind is funny. We can be happy in a moment and feel like shit after a sec. How can we be like this?
Because our thoughts create our feeling. When we think of happy thoughts, then we will feel good.
The good news is we can manage our thoughts. By controlling our thoughts, we can control our feeling better! Our thoughts are the basis of our mindset. Why is that? Because what we think again and again will strengthen your mindset. And since you can choose your thought, therefore you can build your mind to be strong in any condition.
What it’s like to be mentally strong?
It’s when your feelings are not (much) affected by the circumstances around you. I know it sounds hard, but it’s possible! After all, we can choose to think differently. Our mind can be flexible when we direct it.
The trait of a mentally strong person
Theoretically, every experience we have can make us become a stronger and better person. However, since our thoughts shape our mindset, not everyone will become a mentally strong person. It’s about what you choose to think.
What are the traits of a mentally strong person? Let’s take a look at these traits, so you can practice being strong.
1. You don’t envy other people’s life
Do you remember this famous idiom? The grass look greener on the other side.
When you think that other people have a better life than you, just be aware that what you think may not be right. Our thoughts have a subjective bias. What seems good for us may not be bad for others.
Let’s assume that your friend got a new car, or your colleague lives life from a rich inheritance. Yes, the fact is your friend got the money to get that brand new car. But, that doesn’t explain whether their life is happier and better than you. How so?
A happy is subjective. Your friend may have anxiety in their sleep or having high debt. That’s not something that you see in daily life, right?
A mentally strong person appreciates other people’s success. You don’t envy your friend or colleagues. How can we don’t envy other people? After all, your life is different from other people.
You build your self-esteem and confidence within, not without. With high self-esteem and confidence, you are more content with your life.
2. You embrace failures as a learning experience
When you fail in your business or your job, it’s really tempting to blame other people and circumstances. While, in fact, there is no guarantee in life. That might be hard to swallow, but that’s true! You might give your best effort, but the result may not be as satisfied as you want to be.
After a while, you won’t dwell on failures. When realizing that something doesn’t work well, you learn from it and not make the same mistake as you did in the past.
By learning from your failures, you see which part you need to fix. You will improve yourself and become a better person.
3. You don’t feel sorry for yourself–instead, you make improvements
I have to break the news for you. When you have high self-pity that your life is miserable and sad, just know that it’s you who perceive that way. At the first step, realize that what you think may not be true.
You might think, wait a minute! I feel miserable because I just encountered an unfortunate event. That’s not something to be brushed off!
Yes, you might face unfortunate events like the loss of a job. I know, it’s not easy! In this case, yes, the event is an unfortunate one. But if you make this as a reason that your life is miserable, please think again.
Does it describe that your whole life is miserable? You might experience a great life before, and you don’t know what will happen in the future.
Instead, mentally strong people see unfortunate events to make improvements in their life. Sure, everyone needs time to heal after experience an unfortunate event. Just take your time! However, you can always choose to dwell in self-pity forever or try to improve your condition.
When you are mentally strong, you seek ways to improve your condition. In this case, by finding a new job or make a business. Because you know that continuously weeping your sadness won’t solve the inherent problem. The decision is up to you!
4. You are open to changes and risks
What happens is just happen, whether you like it or not. Then, when things don’t go as you wish, it’s not that the world conspires against you. Yes, you heard that right! It’s no use to resist life changes because it only will increase your stress. What you need to do is to embrace change and take risks.
When you are mentally strong, you are flexible about life changes. You are prepared when things don’t go as you planned. Since you already know it from the start, changes are not a problem for you. Furthermore, you see changes as an opportunity to improve and grow yourself.
5. You don’t worry about what people say about you
This is by far the best trait of mentally strong people. You are not a people pleaser. You have your way to politely say no to other people. Because you know that the others don’t mind when you say no to them.
As a mentally strong person, you prove yourself on your action. You don’t need other people’s recognition. If they talk about you in your back, that’s their problem! What matters is you do the best thing you can. Your self worth is come from within, not without!
6. You can embrace solitude
Solitude is different from being lonely. When we feel lonely, the thoughts that come from it usually about sadness. It’s like, “why I am so alone now, everybody doesn’t like me”. While in fact, you don’t know whether everybody hates you or not!
On the other hand, solitude is gained when you thought it’s okay to be alone. Ever wondered why the philosopher and monks like to be in solitude? Because in solitude, you can explore everything you want without external restriction. You can be really creative, gain clarity until connect with your spirituality.
With this pandemic, people are staying at home. You can choose to perceive whether you are lonely or in solitude. See, even you can choose your thought about your stay-at-home period. Choose the one that will make you feel good!
7. You focus on things you can control
The advice from a Stoic philosopher is timeless. We don’t need to focus on things we can’t control. Our friends, our job, even our money, are not within our full control. What we can fully control is our mind, our behavior, or our attitudes. The key is something that comes from our internal self.
That doesn’t mean that a lack of control from external factors is discouraging. For me, it is liberating! Why? Because now we can focus better on ourselves. You can focus on building yourself to your fullest potential.
Final words: it’s possible to be a mentally strong person
Hopefully, this post gives you an idea of a trait of a mentally strong person. I know personal growth is not easy! Still, you have every chance to grow yourself mentally and physically.