Have you ever make an excuse to do things you want in the name of self-care? Like, binge-watching on Netflix, binge eating, or sleeping all day?
Actually, there is nothing wrong with binge-watching or sleeping itself. However, we should be aware of the reason why we’re choosing to do that. In this post, we’ll find out the signs of self-sabotage and how to stop it for good.
3 Signs That We Self-sabotage
Currently, we are living in a hustle culture that everything is focused on productivity. On G-T-D (getting things done), crossing up our to-do list, and organizing our productivity system. So, it’s not surprising that we experience burnout higher than the previous generation.
Making time for self-care is like saving ourselves from the potential burnout and stress. Because, we need to balance our life between productivity and rest.
However, there is a difference between self-care, self-sabotage, indulgence, laziness, or spoiling ourselves. What self-care really means that it should nourish our mind, body, and soul.
Here are 3 signs that you might self-sabotage yourself.
You have something important to do but avoiding it
There is a difference between self-care and making an excuse to procrastinate. So many reasons why we are procrastinating. I admit I often procrastinate, too. Especially when I have to do my monthly finance report (I work as a finance person).
To overcome it, we need to explore our reason why we are procrastinating in the first place. Maybe, the task seems daunting? Or, we have a fear that we can’t do the task? Or, even wider, maybe you are not satisfied with your job? Knowing the reason for our procrastination will help us to find a solution to our problem. We then will get off from sabotaging ourselves and can take care of ourselves properly.
It’s normal for us to want to relax after having a stressful time. However, this doesn’t mean that we need to be productive first to earn self-care. That’s another myth you should not believe. After all, self-care is about taking care of our wellness, and this is not limited to a specific requirement. We need to give to ourselves first before we give to others, and that’s why we can have self-care in the morning or even before we do something productive.
The “self-care” you do doesn’t bring any nourishing effect to you
Good self-care is about the activity that nourishes our mind, body, and soul. Maybe, you have worked hard during the weekdays and you want to sleep all day long on the weekend. Then, sleeping all day is not bad, because it will help you to nourish your body.
However, when you take an excuse to binge eating in the name of self-care, know that it might not help to nourish yourself.
If we want to take care of our wellness properly, we should be intentional. After all, self-care is not about indulging in the mindless purchase or mindless activity that robs our time, energy, and our money.
When we feel depleted or disappointed after having a “self-care”, know that it might be not right for us.
It brings an obstacle to you afterward
Does “self-care” help you to feel refreshed and get ready to continue your day? Or does it makes you feel depleted afterward? When it comes to the latter, know that you might be not having proper self-care. Because, It shouldn’t make us feel tired and depleted.
If the activity makes us depleted, then it will just become an obstacle to reach our goals. And this will bring a different result when we continue to live our life. There is a difference between taking action from a state of depletion and a state of inspiration.
So, we need to be intentional. We should distinguish between what we need and what we want. Most often, we choose the latter unconsciously.
For example, when we are tired, we might choose to drink a coffee or binge-watching. It might give us a temporary burst of energy, but, is it helping us in the long run? Listen deeply to ourselves.
When we’re tired, what do we need? Actually, the answer is really easy. We need to get rest. Have some sleep! Isn’t this obvious?
- 31 Evening Self-care Ideas to Relieve Stress and Relax
- 25 Self-care Sunday Ideas for a Relaxing Weekend
What to do when facing self-sabotage
Have a Self-care Check-in
Checking in with ourselves is important so that we can be more aware of our wants and needs. Here is some question you can answer to know whether you are self-sabotaging or not:
- Am I avoiding something important?
- Will this help me to solve my issue?
- What do I really need to solve my current problem?
- Is this choice help to nourish my wellness and well-being?
- Will I get better after doing this?
- Am I choosing this activity intentionally or mindlessly?
- Will my future self be thankful to me for my current action?
Plan Your Self-care in Daily Routine
Having a self-care plan is like letting us know beforehand that we are taking an intentional action to take care of ourselves, even in the morning, during the day, in the evening, or in the weekend. When we don’t plan it, it’s too easy to get lured by the self-sabotaging choices that consume our time and energy unconsciously.
A self-care planner will help us to make our plan better to maintain a self-care routine that sticks. Pick any activity that will nourishes you in the long run rather than in the short run. Planning might need some trial and error, but know that the result with be worth it.
Mindfulness is about being fully aware of our lives. On what we do, think, feel, what we have, the environment around us; basically, everything. And of course, we can practice mindfulness in our self-care. Know that it’s not hard to practice mindfulness and be intentional.
Practice mindfulness helps us to avoid self-sabotaging choices. This will makes us to be aware and more intentional about our choice, our reason, and the impact that we will get from the choice.
To be mindful of your self-care, ask yourself the question below:
- Am I choosing this by my own will, or it was told by someone (or ads)?
- Why do I want this?
- What do I truly need to nourish myself?
Pause for a moment and think for the answers. No need to push yourself too hard, tho! After all, being mindful should not be a burden. Be gentle with yourself when it comes to self-care.
Also, you can practice mindfulness during your self-care, not only before you’re doing it. Be mindful of it and savor the moment. This will make the self-care more nourishing and refreshing.
- 11 Easy Ways to Practice Mindfulness in Daily Life
- 31 Simple Mindfulness Practice (Monthly Challenge + Checklist)
How do you combat self-sabotage?
After reading this post, hopefully, we can avoid self-sabotage and have better self-care. Being mindful about our action will help us to focus on things that matters.
Self-care is one way to improve our wellness and build a healthy lifestyle. To have a healthier life, we need to take intentional action on nourishing our health.
So, that’s it! How you combat self-sabotage? I’d love to hear your tips in the comment below.